“Managing Holiday Grief”
At first it can be difficult to distinguish this time of year from the rest of the year, as every turn of the calendar can be a reminder of your loss.
Holidays can be complicated without considering grief. When grieving a loss, your favorite times may feel like an obstacle you must manage for the first time. At first it can be difficult to distinguish this time of year from the rest of the year, as every turn of the calendar can be a reminder of your loss.
Try to allow grief to have it’s place instead of trying to avoid it this holiday. Spend some time prior to the holidays to consider if it is time to add new or keep old traditions. Find a way to honor your loved one. If your loved one had a funny activity or outfit, don’t be afraid to let humor in. Let them still be a part of the day. Light a candle in their memory or make their favorite meal. Do what feels authentic to you.
Know that not everyone will grieve the same as you. Set boundaries and realistic expectations for yourself. Do not force yourself to attend events or keep up old traditions for the sake of appearance. Know that it is okay to do what is best for you.
Taming emotional triggers:
Holidays can present a particular set of triggers that remind you of the loved one(s) you are missing. Innocent and fun pastimes we used to enjoy become painful moments to endure.
As you navigate this holiday season, know that it’s normal to have reactions. Take breaks when you are feeling signs of stress. These signs can include muscles tightening and clenching, changes in breathing or heart rate, irritability, or sudden urges to cry or lash-out. When you notice these happening, lie down and focus on your breathing to help calm your nervous system. Consider support from someone you trust.
In my experience, grief became less intense and more manageable over time. Eventually, grief became a quiet presence, with moments where it did not monopolize every thought. Grief changes as we adapt to a life without our loved one. Find solace in knowing that it will not be this way forever.
“I live in the present to heal my past”
Focus on deep breathing while reciting this mantra. Taking time for this practice can decrease stress, increase energy, and trigger endorphins (which can reduce pain and improve your mood).
You deserve peace.
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