“The Myths We Tell Ourselves: Unraveling the Stories That Shape Us”
The Myths We Tell Ourselves:
Carl Jung once wrote, "Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate." So much of what we believe about ourselves and the world isn’t necessarily truth—it’s a story, a myth we’ve constructed over time. These myths shape our reality, dictate our choices, and influence how we navigate life. But how often do we stop to question whether these stories serve us, or if they are merely a product of our past experiences, fears, and societal conditioning?
The Power of Confirmation Bias
One reason our personal myths are so powerful is because of confirmation bias—the tendency to seek out information that supports what we already believe while ignoring evidence that contradicts it. If we’ve spent years telling ourselves, "I’m not good enough" or "I’m destined to struggle," we will subconsciously filter our experiences to reinforce those narratives. We’ll discount our successes, focus on our failures, and interpret neutral events through the lens of our limiting beliefs.
Author Brené Brown thought the most dangerous stories are the ones we tell ourselves. She is right! She speaks directly to this when she says, "When we own our story, we can write a brave new ending." Owning our story means identifying the myths we tell ourselves and deciding whether they align with who we truly are and who we want to become.
Common Myths We Tell Ourselves:
“I’m not worthy of love unless I prove myself.”
“Success is for other people, not for me.”
“I can’t change; this is just who I am.”
“If I let go of my grief, I’ll be forgetting my loved one.”
“I should have been able to prevent this.”
These myths often originate in childhood, past traumas, or societal expectations. While they may have once helped us make sense of our world, they can also hold us back from growth, healing, and fulfillment.
Discerning Your Myths: Questions to Ask Yourself
If you suspect that a belief you hold may be a myth rather than a truth, try asking yourself these questions:
Where did this belief come from? Did I develop it based on experience, or was it handed down to me by family, culture, or past wounds?
Does this belief empower me or limit me? Does it help me grow, or does it keep me stuck?
Would I say this to a loved one? If I wouldn’t say it to someone I care about, why am I saying it to myself?
Is there evidence that contradicts this belief? Have I ever experienced moments that challenge this narrative?
Who would I be without this belief? What choices might I make if I let it go?
Rewriting Your Narrative:
Once we identify the myths we tell ourselves, we have the power to rewrite them.
Instead of “I’m not enough,” try “I am learning, growing, and worthy as I am.”
Instead of “I can’t change,” we can affirm “I have the ability to evolve and make different choices.”
Instead of “What if I fail,” try “With every setback I learn more & is a stepping stone to where I’m going.”
Instead of “I have to do everything alone,” try “By embracing support from others, I create space for growth and self-expansion.”
Instead of “I’m too broken to heal,” try “Healing is a journey, and I am making progress every day.”
Instead of “I’ll never find happiness again,” try “Joy can be my choice daily, even as I honor my past.”
Jung’s insight reminds us that we are not powerless against our unconscious stories. By bringing them to light, we gain the freedom to rewrite them in ways that align with our true selves. And as Brené Brown encourages, when we own our story, we can craft a future rooted in authenticity, self-compassion, and possibility.
So, what myths are you telling yourself? And more importantly—are they shaping you into the person you want to be?
