“Rediscovering Yourself: How to Break Free from Others’ Expectations and Live Authentically”
"Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we're supposed to be and embracing who we are."
- Brené Brown
I recently came across this quote: “If you don’t spend enough time getting to know yourself, you’ll end up absorbing everyone else’s definition of you. You owe it to yourself to live a life that’s yours.”
That stopped me in my tracks. I had to sit with it, let it sink in, and sort out some truths.
In a world where social media constantly floods our minds, it’s easy to feel like we’re falling short. It wasn’t always this way. Before the digital age took over, our exposure to comparison was limited. Maybe we knew one classmate who seemed to have it all together—looks, personality, intellect. You know the one. The person we secretly wanted to be. Only to realize later that behind their seemingly perfect facade, they had their own struggles, just like us.
That realization kept us connected to ourselves. We understood that perfection was a myth, and our so-called "flaws" were simply unique parts of who we were. Assets or liabilities—depending on how we chose to see them.
Beyond social media, we also carry the weight of family, friends, and societal expectations. The identities we take on are often shaped by what we’ve been told about ourselves, and sometimes, those messages don’t align with who we truly are. It can take years—even a lifetime—to uncover who we were before we were told who we should be.
Think about this: If a child is repeatedly told they’re “too loud”, they might grow up believing their voice isn’t worthy of being heard. If they’re told they’re “too sensitive,” they may suppress their emotions, feeling ashamed for simply feeling.
The scary part? We don’t always realize it’s happening. And one day, we wake up living a life shaped by everyone else’s opinions—except our own.
Of course, self-improvement is a good thing. To strive to be better, look better, or be smarter isn’t inherently wrong, but at what cost? If we lose ourselves in the process, is it really growth?
So, why do we do it? To please others? To fit in? To feel worthy?
Maybe it’s time to shift our perspective. What if we viewed external influences as just that—influences, not definitions? We can take in other people’s opinions, try them on for size, and decide whether they fit. If they align with who we are, we keep them. If they don’t, we let them go.
The key is to check in with ourselves regularly. To stay grounded in who we are and who we want to be. To remind ourselves that we owe it to ourselves to live authentically.
So, is it time for you to get to know yourself?
Here are some questions to reflect on:
What activities make me lose track of time because I genuinely enjoy them?
When do I feel most at peace with myself?
What are my core values, and am I living in alignment with them?
Do I make decisions based on what I truly want, or based on what others expect of me?
If social media didn’t exist, how would I express myself?
What beliefs or habits have I adopted that don’t actually resonate with me?
How do I feel after spending time on social media—motivated, drained, or insecure?
If I had no fear of judgment, how would I live my life differently?
If you don’t have all the answers yet, that’s okay. But start asking. Start noticing what lights you up and what drains you. Start saying no to what doesn’t feel right—even if it disappoints others. And start saying yes to the parts of yourself you’ve ignored for too long.
Your authenticity is your greatest strength. The world will always try to tell you who to be, but only you get to decide whether to listen.
